The Bible according to the Jeff Sessions/Sarah Sanders interpretation of Romans 13:
– Hebrew women, including Moses’ mom, should’ve turned over their babies to the Egyptian authorities because of God’s “clear and wise command in Romans 13 to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes.” Those authorities had the right and duty to kill those babies because “It is very Biblical to enforce the law.”
– Daniel, and the three men in the fiery furnace, should have bowed down and worshiped King Nebuchadnezzar because of God’s “clear and wise command in Romans 13 to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes.” They deserved to die in the lions’ den and the fiery furnace because “It is very Biblical to enforce the law.”
– Those brave Christian martyrs in Acts and beyond should have stopped talking about Jesus when ordered to do so because of God’s “clear and wise command in Romans 13 to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes.” The Roman government was right to put them to death because “It is very Biblical to enforce the law.”
– That especially includes Paul who wrote Romans 13. But he must have been a real hypocrite since he defied the law and was executed for it.
– And finally, there’s Jesus. He should have cow-towed to Pilate and the other Roman authorities who put him to death because of God’s “clear and wise command in Romans 13 to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes.” The Romans were right to crucify him because “It is very Biblical to enforce the law.”
To paraphrase Inigo Montoya . . . Sarah and Jeff, I don’t think those words (Romans 13) mean what you think they mean.
NOTE: The first quote in each section is from Jeff Sessions yesterday. The second is from Sarah Sanders, also yesterday.
(Exodus illustration by Martin Young, purchased from www.biblecartoons.co.uk.)
The Unexpected Pastor 
Upon hearing about this, the very first thought that popped into my head was “This sounds like something a modern Pontius Pilate would say.”
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